I Need More Than Just Being a Parent - Am I a Selfish Mom?

Am I being selfish in wanting more from life than just being a parent?

My dear mom friends, I know…you don’t need to tell me! You love your kids to the moon and back. You sacrifice your needs for theirs all the time but at the same time, you’re longing for something more than laundry, math homework, sibling fights and toddler tantrums.

Hi, I’m Barb Naisby, I’m a Brit living in Mexico. I’m also a mom, grandma, author and entrepreneur and when my kids were young, I felt just like you. I’m here to help you find a way to get self-fulfillment without feeling the guilt of doing something for yourself. Something that creates a buzz in your life, increases your feeling of self-worth and in turn will make you more tolerant of your parenting duties.

If you’re listening live, let me know where you’re tuning in from or if you’re on replay, drop a #Replay in the comments and add where you’re from.

I know that taking care of your children is, and should be, one of your top parenting priorities and bringing up your kids to be caring, respectful human beings is an admirable achievement. But, do you think this should be your only priority for a full 18 years of your life until they’re officially adults? And what if there’s a significant age gap between your children? You can add on a good few years to the original 18!

I wasn’t a bad parent. Truth is, I was bored and stressed if I had to spend too much time playing make-believe, entertaining fractious kids on a wet, rainy day or intervening in sibling arguments. I longed for space and time to read but more than anything, I longed to be back at work. Does this make me a selfish mum?

Obviously, you’re going to take care of the basic needs of your children first but what do you think happens when you sacrifice your own needs to get your children to yet another event or party?

Yep, you start to feel stressed and resentful that you, once again, have sacrificed the time you put aside to look after YOU!

You know, if your personal needs are not met – we’re talking here about physical, mental, nutritional, spiritual and sleep needs – you cannot parent to your best ability. You are NOT being selfish, you are being HUMAN.

If this makes sense to you, drop me a fire emoji in the comments.

If you’re feeling guilty for thinking this way, try this experiment. Next time your with your mom friends, ask this question…” Do any of you ever feel the need to go back to work to give yourself back your self esteem? Do you need to be more than just a mom?’ I’ll bet my last $ you have heads nodding in agreement. But nobody wanted so say anything for fear of being presumed selfish.

It is so important for you to realize that having work or hobbies that do not involve the kids will help you to feel like the woman you were pre children. And the woman you will be when your children are grown.

If you lose YOU in the process of being MOM, what will you have left in your life when they’ve all flown the coop?

Let’s chat about this! Leave me your thoughts in the comments and get a discussion going.

Love to all you moms…Barb

 

 

Should I Look at MLM's or Network Marketing Businesses as Home Income Opportunities or Are They All Scams?

 

Hey my mompreneur friends, 

many of you have been asking whether you should look at Multi Level Marketing or Network Marketing as a home based business option. Most of you are running scared because you’ve heard all MLM’s are scams or pyramid schemes.

If this is you, let me help you out by explaining to you how the really good MLM Companies work and how they can be a great source of income for stay at home moms.

Hi, I’m Barb Naisby, a Brit now living in Mexico. I’m a mum, wife, grandma, author, former dental professional and now a network marketer. I’ve already asked all the questions you young mums are asking about MLM’s and before I became a Network Marketer, I thought just the same as you!

Drop me a comment below if you think all MLM’s are pyramid schemes….

OK, so first off, did you know that pyramid schemes are now illegal? This is how they worked:

Pyramid schemes involve unscrupulous investors taking advantage of unsuspecting individuals by promising them extraordinary returns in exchange for their money.

With a pyramid scheme, the initial schemer recruits other marketers who in turn recruit other marketers and so on. Late-joining marketers pay the person who recruited them for the right to participate or perhaps sell a certain product and always earn less than their recruiter. So, the first in earns the most and the last in earns the least.

Now let’s clear the air with some facts about MLM’s…

Multi Level or Network Marketing is absolutely legal provided that the companies comply with very stringent disclosure laws and provide the customer with an actual product in return for their money. As with every business, there are bad companies, good companies and great companies to work with so you should always do your due diligence before joining any business.

In Network Marketing, unlike pyramid schemes, it doesn’t matter where you're positioned or when you join, you can rank advance to the very highest income level, leap frogging over your recruiter to reach the top.  What you put into your business determines what you get out of it.

Each company has its own compensation structure and incentives for their salesforce to do well both with direct sales and recruiting. Great companies also provide online and offline training to help you progress more quickly with your career.

Hmmm, note I said career? 

Yes! This is a career in the true sense of the word. It is not a get rich quick scheme and requires commitment and dedication just like any other career if you want to succeed. However, most moms start part-time and progress to full time as their family circumstances change. This means you can fit your new career around family commitments. Many companies only require a very modest investment in their products, like a starter pack so you can demonstrate the product and many, like my company, do not require you to carry stock.

Drop me some love and a fire emoji in the comments if this info has reassured you or helped you in any way. Let’s stay connected!

Examining Yourself, Your Current Situation and Future Expectations

 I'd like to start by asking you a question. When was the last time you truly examined your current situation and your future goals and objectives? I mean, really examined and took a deep dive into your life?

It had been a while since I did this exercise and I was reminded of the value of doing it during a recent conference I attended. So let me help you out a bit here and give you some starting blocks. You can give a current assessment of your life in the following areas:-

1.  Financial and Career
2.  Family and Social
3.  Emotional
4.  Mental
5.  Spiritual

   I'll share with you what I discovered when I reviewed my current situation:-

  

   Financially, I'm in a good place having retired in 2013 and having saved judiciously all my life 

   for  this point in time. In fact, I'm better of now that I'm older and qualify for my State Pension 

   too!

  Careerwise, I finished my career on a lower point than I would have liked due to some 

  very unfortunate circumstances and I feel like I wasn't really finished achieving when I retired 

  so I'm back and thoroughly enjoying learning and achieving in my new career in Network 

  Marketing.

  Physically, I think I'm in pretty good shape for my age but I could definitely improve in this area 

  as I don't currently do any toning or core strength exercises.

  Mentally, I'm in better shape than I have been for many years. I had a complete mental 

  breakdown in 2010 which literally fried my brain. I lost my vocabulary, the ability to 

  communicate effectively and was a complete and utter mess. One of the long lasting effects 

  of this was that, as I got better, I became scared to use my brain in case in broke again. The 

  thought of going through that again frankly terrified me.

   Emotionally, I'm stable ......as long as I keep taking the tablets! I've finally accepted that 

   I don't do well without the meds. Acceptance is actually a good thing!

   Spiritually, I believe that there is a higher entity whatever our religious beliefs and I do 

   believe in the power of prayer but that prayers should be more for others than for yourself. 

   I also believe that we should always remember to express gratitude for what and who we 

   have in our lives.

   Now that we've got that straightened out, we can get down to the next part of the project....

    Goals & Expectations.

   Go ahead and write down at least 3 major but achievable goals tat you want to achieve in the 

   next 90 days then plan out how you are going to get from point A to point B in that time frame.

   If you set too large a goal or it's too far in the future, it's highly likely you won't achieve it. 

   It needs to be within your grasp, tangible. you can taste it, smell it, see it right in front of your 

   eyes. Make it easy for yourself to get there, to succeed.

   Off you go then, get to work!

Fear & Procrastination Go Hand in Hand!

 

Fear and Procrastination Go Hand in Hand!

 

If you’ve been following my blog or Facebook Lives for the past few weeks, can you answer me one question?

Have you done a single Facebook Live yet?

If you have… Congratulations! Give yourself a well deserved pat on the back. If not, why not?

Have your fears lead to procrastination, I wonder? Let’s take a look at how to overcome fear.

Real fear is not the same as anxiety. Real fear is when you are in a fight or flight situation, your life is at risk, a car is coming at you head on in your traffic lane or you’re about to be attacked by a wild animal.

Fake fear or anxiety is the brain cautioning you against an imagined danger – the “what ifs” in life. What if I make a fool of myself, what if I forget what I was going to say, what if I can’t do it.

You CAN overcome this fake fear or anxiety by using the logical part of your brain. First take several  deep breaths, next use your logic to write down what you imagine is scaring you. Get really good at analyzing the perceived problem and using logic to combat it.

There are FOUR STEPS to overcoming fear:

1.      1.       Accept it
  2.      Identify it
  3.      Reframe it
  4.      Overpower it

1.      You cannot fix what you refuse to admit. So when your brain starts telling you “I can't do this            because I haven’t got time, I haven’t got the money, I can do it tomorrow. Your logical brain needs          to admit that these are really just excuses leading to procrastination.

2.      Identifying your fear really comes down to a fear of loss in one sense or another. Acceptance,                 comfort, money, identity, reputation etc.

3.      Reframing your fear means you need to learn to look at the source of your anxiety  and give it a 

      new aspect. For example, if you are afraid you’re going to forget what you were talking about on a        Facebook Live, the first thing to do is prepare really well. Write down what you want to say and              read it aloud at least 10 times so it gets fixed in your brain.
      Second, tell yourself you are challenging yourself to do something new and that you will be a huge        success. Finally, give it your absolute best effort.

 4.      Overpower your fear. If you’ve completed steps 1 – 3 you have done it! You’ve conquered your              fear. But be aware, the next fear is always lurking round the corner. So be prepared to Accept,                Identify, Reframe and Overpower the next one too!

The Four Step Video Plan

 

                                        The Four Step Video Plan

 We’ve spoken before about the importance of video as part of your Social Media campaign and although it’s a wee bit more time consuming than doing a quick post or story, it really does help people get the essence of who you are. This is a big part of attraction marketing.

I know some of you may want to run for the hills at the mention of going live on camera but I promise you it’s THE best way of gaining online traction and attracting followers. If you need help getting started please join the Facebook Live challenge which will give you topics to talk about and will help you become confident on camera. This is part of the course curriculum in The Enhanced Training Academy of which I am an Advisory Board Member http://bit.ly/ETAqualificationcourse

No matter which Social Media platform you use to post your video, there is a tried and tested format you should use:

1         1.  Introduction

2        2. Question

3        3. Content

4        4. Call to Action (CTA)

      1.      Introduction

The first thing you should do is introduce yourself as your viewer may be watching you for the first time. Never brag about where you are in your company nor about how much money you earn. Your viewers are only interested in your solution to a problem they may have.

     2.       Question

Give people a reason to keep watching. This should be a benefit driven question which could go something like this…”Hi, I’m Barb Naisby! Have you ever struggled with structuring your content for videos? Well stick around and I’ll share some tips to help you on your way”

     3.      Content

This is the part of the video where you will help solve their problem. You may have been reading an article which gives answers to their problem so give credit to the author who helped you find your content solution.

    4.      Call to Action

Tell your audience what you want them to do:

• Subscribe to your YouTube Channel
• Follow your page on Facebook
• Direct them to a resource which will give them more information
• Thank them for watching

 Addendum

Make a soft pitch for your business…sometimes but not every time. You don’t want to come across as a sleazy salesman.

 

 

Being Real or Being Professional

 

    Being Real or Being Professional

 

One of the big traps you can fall into which can wreck your chances of online success is by letting a couple of inappropriate posts slip through onto your timeline. I’m talking about pictures of a wild party with lots of alcohol, a rant about the government or equally bad, a rant about religion.

Please, please, please keep these rants and pics off your Social Media platforms. You don’t want to hurt your chances of success when you’ve worked so hard. Imagine if you’ve been following someone on line for a while and look forward to their posts, then all of a sudden there’s an embarrassing rant or picture. Would you keep following them if they turn out to be someone you no longer respect?

You often don’t know who’s following you! In fact, just last week, a friend I hadn’t seen for a couple of years reached out and asked me to do a presentation to his fitness group and I had no idea he’d been following me. Just because someone doesn’t like or comment on your posts doesn’t mean they’re not watching you. So be aware!

So here’s an interesting question….should you be the ultimate pro, polished and professional or should you be real? That’s an easy one to answer. Your aim is to connect with people, to get them to know, like and trust you so the real you needs to shine through.

Now, I’m not saying you have to speak like a newscaster or reporter, just talk as if you’re talking to your friend over coffee. You’ll come across way more natural that way.

When I do my FB Lives, you’ll often see a dog passed out on the sofa or a cat on top of the filing cabinet. Is this a problem? No! I’m being seen in my normal environment complete with my furry family. This makes me seem normal and accessible.

If you want more people to connect with you, keep putting out short videos with useful content. Always introduce yourself and always give your name again when signing off. Finally, always have a call to action – follow me, message me, join me a FB.

 

 

 

What Can I Talk About on Social Media?

 

    What Can I Talk About on Social Media?

One of the questions I get asked…a lot….is what on earth can I talk about on my Facebook Lives or what can I write about in my Blog. In reality it’s also one of the easiest questions to answer!

Let’s look at Value Posts where you’re giving quality information for free in order to grow your audience. If you’re serious about growing your business then I guess you’re also serious about growing yourself through personal development. You’ll be listening to podcasts, reading books, watching videos or training with a mentor.

It doesn’t matter which method you choose, if you’re learning something then you have a topic for your own blog, video or live. I’m not saying copy what you’ve learned but just as I’m doing now – make it your own. Use your own personal style of writing or delivery. Let your personality shine through.

Choose just one item per blog or video so you keep it simple. People tend to learn more in short, sharp lessons. Plus, who has time these days to sit and watch a 30 minute video?

Now here’s a tip to use if you’re worried you won’t remember what to say or scared you might dry up on your first video:

1.      1. Write a blog first so you get your thoughts in order – I know that works great for me

2.      2. Stick a sheet of paper to your monitor screen with bullet points so you don’t get lost. 

         Stick  it just underneath the webcam. That way it seems your looking directly at the camera      but in fact your keeping an eye on your bullet points.

3.      Be excited! When you think your voice is animated at about a level 8, you’ll be surprised to     find when you play back your video that you sound about level 5. So you need to up the ante!

4.      Relax! Do a couple of practice videos without going live then bite the bullet and go for it.

 Please feel free to message me if you want to know what equipment and programs I use for my videos. I ’ll be very happy to share and help you.